Well this weekend has certainly been a test of our intestinal fortitude. Our soldiers have been shaken to their very core and some are struggling to keep it together. The loss of 31 American lives yesterday in a Helo Crash is the largest single loss since this war began. And what is even worse, from what the officials say, Navy Seal Team 6, the troops who took out Osama Bin Laden where killed in that crash. These are the ELITE of the elite, and they have been taken away from us. I know this has got to play on the minds of our ground pounders. But I hope it helps them to realize that life is not something to be taken lightly or for granted. Super Heroes can still be taken from us not matter what. And that we just want them to do whatever job it is that they are doing there in the Stan, and hurry their little butts back to the safety of their loved ones. I know all of the military community is grieving with the fallen's families. That is truly the worst way to lose a loved one. Being apart for months and months, with little to no contact, and the next thing you know, you are getting a knock at the door from 2 dress uniformed individuals, giving you their regrets to inform you. Certainly not the same as an illness or sudden accident, that has taken the life of someone you see and talk to every day. Deployments drain everything you have to the lowest limit, tests every boundary and skill you ever learned and still works the strongest of families and spouses down to a raw, unprotected emotionally charged being, who hangs on with all their might and believes with all their soul that it can be done without a scratch. There are casualties of a deployment without death involved: Personalities, Sanity, Health, Friendships, Marriages, Careers and Finances all are at the mercy of a deployment. And once they get stuck in that downward spiral, sometimes it is hard to save them without help or a fight. As I was quoted in a newspaper article recently, i think many spouses I know would agree - Our soldiers fight for their lives together, while we, the spouses, fight for our marriages alone. We try to stay positive in our emails and phone calls, manage everything in our household as if we were single, all while doing whatever is necessary to keep a marriage alive and healthy alone, because we know our soldier can't take their focus off of the mission, because that could mean injury or death. Which starts another internal fight with the possibilities we have to face on a daily basis, we have our spouse in harms way. But know we can survive this year long struggle of struggles, if we stay focus and dedicated to our mission - keeping the home fires burning, then it will all be worth it in the end.
I also hope that, if you are a soldier or know a soldier who isn't feeling or acting like themselves after a combat mission or an enemy attack, that you seek help or encourage the one you know to seek help. If you find yourself/your soldier - reliving the event, avoiding situations that remind of the event, finding it difficult to express feelings or memories, feeling hyped up, difficulty sleeping, easily startled, easily angered/irritated, trouble concentrating, and lastly, fear for your safety causing you to be always on guard or hyper vigilant, speak with a Doc or Chaplain. PTSD can be a difficult fight, especially when there is that too famous stigma attached by the military. Soldiers refuse to admit there is an issue and/or are afraid what other soldiers/leaders will say or think. Is it really worth your health and sanity and the lives of others around you, to ignore it. Who cares what others think, they either have no idea what its like to have PTSD or they are also dealing with it and are afraid just like you. You deserve to feel ok in your own skin and not be afraid of what is going to happen next or suffer from nightmares or sleepless nights. Only you know what is normal for you, don't ignore it any more. I know God didn't equip us to be able to turn off our happy sane selves, and turn on our war mode to fight the evil in this world, in order to keep the 2 worlds separate. But there is help and there is no shame in seeking it. PTSD can happen to the biggest, meanest of men and turn them into the smallest of mice, trembling with fear. It is not something to take lightly and it affects so many soldiers, many who bring it home and some don't have it surface til later. But either way, it affects their families, often times destroys them and/or they drowned the PTSD monster in alcohol, drugs or some other behavior, hoping it will go away. And some kill themselves because they can't handle it any longer. Don't let it go undiagnosed or untreated, please don't be afraid. This is the only life you have and you don't get a do over. Just don't ignore the uncomfortableness any longer. Take off your Macho coat and help yourself or your battle buddy, life is too short and you deserve to leave the battlefield the way you came into it - with a healthy mind.
This site will help you: National Center For PTSD
Lastly, just say a prayer, asking for strength. For strength to make it through this difficult day, for strength to forgive those who irritate the living daylights out of you, for strength to understand those who act like idiots and for strength to accept those who feel its necessary to constantly bash people trying to do the right thing, live a good life or make changes to improve others lives. All I know is strength is how I get through my days, since my soldier isn't here for me to talk to...but soon, this deployment will be over and the next chapter of our life will begin - RETIREMENT in Texas!!!
~for the Love of Combat Boots and Dog Tags!!
